+ / -

he is so funny.
i am so serious.

he is night.
i am day.

he finds the bad in every situation.
i find the good in every situation.

he gets angry and wants to talk.
i get angry and want to shut-down.

he knows a lot about urban culture.
i know a lot about ancient history.

he likes rap and r&b.
i like salsa and bachata.

he wants to marry me.
i don't even want to date.

he is planning for a future.
i am trying not to live beyond the moment.

he is skinny.
i am sooo not.

he is outgoing and loud.
i am reserved and shy.

he is the King.
i am his Queen.

he says he's dreamt that we'd always be together.
i never thought in a million years that we'd even have conversation like this.

he is everything i am not.
i am everything he is not.

they say opposites attract.

he's made me loosen up.
he's made me laugh at the things that should make me cry.
he's made me look deeper inside myself to resolve my problems.

i've made him recognize that good lives in every situation.
i've made him find comfort in being all that he is.
i've made him take a look at things from a more serious angle.

we might not be oil & water like i initially though.

*still in all...regardless of how this puzzle of "him & me" fits together...i'm still scared...i am living in fear...i am perfectly flawed and scared of the balance he might bring to my chaotic lifestyle*

Hooah

hysterically, i am telling you that i couldn't remember what kind of lover he was. hell, it had been so many years since i'd even seen him. iraq separated us for a long time. i've changed. a lot.

i wonder what he was thinking when he saw me for the first time [again] here.
back here, in the US. here on my stomping grounds.

whatever he was thinking must have been grand considering how he undressed me and took control of my body. it must have been fantastic because he stimulated more than just..well, you know what i'm saying.

we were listening to a little blackstreet & whatever the hell else appealed to all my senses. i had gotten a little tipsy in the club before i'd made my way over to him, but he was getting me drunk with his tongue. his dick. his sex. i was ready for the hangover.

what i wasn't ready for was how he was going to handle me. i'll just say that it was a wonderful experience and it was what i needed after 67 days without the DC-Boo...

i'll have to find a way to fill the void that he once filled once the army snatches him back out my life, this time, possibly for all eternity.

in the meantime, i'll just count the days of unwelcomed & forced celibacy, one by one, until i recruit a new or old lover to stimulate my mind before learning my body...what a treacherous cycle.